Election Reflection
Learning to put down the rocks
When I feel like this, I always see a scene from Forrest Gump run though my head. The one when Jenny is revisiting her childhood home for the first time in a long time. As Forrest witnesses her see and then feel the true depths of her pain, her sorrow, her grief - she begins throwing rocks at the window in an attempt to break the glass to find release. She throws and misses. She throws and misses. With each throw her rage intensifies. She throws and throws until her rage turns into full collapsing grief because violence toward the external world, albeit enticing, is actually not the answer. It's going inward and feeling the feels as uncomfortable as those feels maybe. His tender response, "sometimes there just aren't enough rocks".
This is how I'm feeling this morning and honestly, it helps me remember why I live the way I live. Why I actively choose every single day new ways of being with the world. I heard something recently, about how people have the tendency to believe because of many of our creation stories, the world was done being created before humans showed up. In reality, we wake up every single morning and continue to co-create the world we live in, alongside the Great Mystery. We wake up on the leading edge of creation and evolution every single day, heart in heart with the Great Mystery. This process is enhanced greatly when we learn to listen to and build a relationship with our own tender Hearts.
My own rage and utter confusion about what it really means to be a human is why I began to practice meditation. If I didn't make this change, I'm not sure where I would be today. When the external world seems to consume me now, I know I always have access to my insides. We ALL have equal access to our insides. It's a place of potent medicine if we allow it. We always have access to the interior world we have created for ourselves. And with practice you can make that interior world a place you look forward to being. I certainly know I had to put a lot of work in to making mine a place I wanted to be. When there aren't enough rocks, I can close my eyes and connect with my heart, Our Heart, and feel the love I have for myself and the Earth as a whole, and it is enough.